THE ESTONIANS

An Estonian television station came up with what The Simpsons would look like if it took place in an Estonian village.

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Learn how to make your own Luke Skywalker on a Tauntaun costume from The Empire Strikes Back.

Watch director James Cameron refuse to give a fan an autograph and call the guy an asshole. The fan responds, "I'm an asshole because I ask someone I admire for their autograph that makes me an asshole? I'm paid $15-an-hour at work and I go to see your film and I'm an asshole?" Now I'm very glad I didn't see Avatar.

Watch Wes Anderson's first film, Bottle Rocket, absolutely free on Crackle.

Harold Ramis says Ghostbusters 3 will be released in 2011.

Find the small thermal exhaust port, it's right below the main port and only two meters wide, in this Star Wars Blueprints: The Ultimate Collections book.

THE N WORDS

I don't get to watch Sesame Street these days but if they keep having celebrity guests like Ricky Gervais, I'll have to start programming my VCR (yes, I still use a VCR).

Ricky Gervais appeared on Sesame Street and sang a Celebrity Lullaby using "N" words to Elmo. It's cute and funny but not nearly as funny as the sourpusses over at Parentdish that threw a fit over the segment.

The British comedian and the fuzzy redhead share some adorable banter as they discuss Gervais' celebrity status. The song begins with clever rhyming and a gentle tone (who knew Gervais had such a great voice?!?).

Well, his fans know he has a good singing voice. He released two singles in England during the 1980's. He sang on his hit television series, The Office.

But when the chorus comes, it's a different story, with Gervais launching into an unexpected screech. Elmo is jolted out of bed, twice, scared and frazzled. At the conclusion of the nightmare-inducing song, Gervais offers Elmo a cup of soothing warm milk but the damage is already done, with the poor puppet's hair standing on end.

According to the people counters at the Public Broadcasting System, viewers didn't share our reaction. "As of today, Viewer Services didn't receive any comments of note from parents regarding that episode," PBS spokesperson Jake Landis tells ParentDish.

How that can be is beyond us. Kids need images of trustworthy grown-ups, especially as they're relaxing at bedtime. If this skit were made for adults, then maybe we'd find it funny. But as entertainment for children, it's just kind of weird.

You missed the boat on this one, Sesame Street.

Wow, these people obviously miss the boat on humor and laughter. These are the kind of parents who repress their child's creativity and joy. They should be complaining about how Elmo refers to himself in third person. How annoying is that?

Today's letter is "D", as is "douchebags", Parentdish.

Thanks, Stan.

THE FULL FRONTAL FRONTIER

I have no idea why these Trekkies decided to paint their nude bodies in Starfleet uniforms and ride bikes. Maybe Scotty forgot to beam down their clothes so they painted them on. Either way, I'm not complaining. And there's a little something for you ladies as well. Live long and pubic.

Found here.

THE HISTORY OF MARIO

A fan made this video of Mario through the ages. It makes you want to see a Mario movie until you remember that 1993 Super Mario Bros. crapfest with Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo.

BIFF SONG

Listen up, Butt Heads! Tom Wilson, who played Biff in the Back to the Future movies, gets asked the same questions over and over. So much so, he wrote a song about it. Now stop asking him about Michael J. Fox.

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

There have been many movies released this year but you can find out what made John Waters' Ten Best List of 2009.

It's as laughable as their story lines, DC Comics still can't get a Justice League of America movie together.

The First Avenger: Captain America is set to begin filming in June 2010.

Lynda Carter made the perfect Wonder Woman. Now you can have her on your shelf with this Lynda Carter Likeness Wonder Woman Bust. Order yours from your local comic book store.

Speaking of Wonder Woman, check out this cool 1976 Wonder Woman Stamp Set!

THE STAR TEAM

I pity the fool that don't use the force!

I'M A CYLON ALL ALONG, FRAK ME

Battlestar Galactica jumped the shark long before the series ended. And it's true I can't watch the reruns of the show anymore without becoming incredibly angry at how the series became a parody of itself. YouTube's nnaylime "Battlestar Rhapsody" tells the story of Battlestar Galactica and it's nice to know other people only think of Lucy Lawless as Xena.

PIN-UP OF THE WEEK

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

"I find your lack of funds disturbing." Darth Vader rings the bell in the most evil empire known to man: the New York Stock Exchange.

The remake of Tron is coming to a cinema near you soon but meanwhile, you can catch Tron on the tennis courts.

Ask not what your thrift store can do for you, ask what you can do for your thrift store. One Florida thrift store made a customer very happy when he found rare candid photographs of John F. Kennedy from a 1960s CBS Special.

Kevin Smith's adaptation of his unproduced screenplay for the Green Hornet is set to come in comic book form from Dynamite Entertainment.

Speaking of Kevin Smith, you can see the trailer for his new film, Cop Out, starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan. Think that pairing sound bad? Just wait til you watch the trailer. Ugh.

James Cameron's Spider-Man never appeared in theaters. He now tells us why his version of the webhead never happened.

THEY'LL ASK ME TO SAVE CHRISTMAS, AND I'LL WHISPER, "NO"

Everyone knows Rorschach is a grouch but I never realized he was a Grinch.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, PARTNER

Working in a comic book store has some perks. You get a first look at the weekly comics, you meet interesting people and you get a Christmas card from DC Comics. I thought I'd share my card with you. It's completely out of character but still it's fun to see Jonah Hex delivering Christmas presents.

Merry Christmas everyone.

DON'T LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 5)

It's time for one of my favorite holiday classics as Henrietta and Merna sing "Go Tell It On The Mountain."

Merry Christmas to all our readers.

DON'T LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 4)

O Holy Crap, this is absolutely horrible.

CINEMA 2009

I love clips like this, it reminds me of why I love movies. The action, the romance, the hope and thrill of seeing something new. YouTube's keesvdijkhuizen created this incredible tribute to the movies of the year:

1 Year, 342 Movies, 12 Months of Production, 7 Minutes.
2009 proved that innovation is rewarded, and for that reason, I've decided no film should be left behind. I've nearly tripled the amount of footage used in 2008: A Tribute To The Movies.

The man is talented. He even makes bad movies look good.

COVER OF THE WEEK

Battlefields: Happy Valley, #1, Dynamite Entertainment

DON'T LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 3)

I'm not sure if this guy is channeling Elvis or Charles Manson. Either way, it's scary to watch.

KICK-ASS RED BAND TRAILER

The Red Band trailer for Kick-Ass featuring Hit Girl is now online. It's a fun clip but beware, it's full of naughty words and explicit violence.

DON'T LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 2)

"It's Christmas" which is enough to make anyone suicidal but you'll really want to kill yourself after you hear YouTube's GottaBeAndrew sing.

via The Internet Is Terrible

PIN-UP OF THE WEEK

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Oh, fudge! Learn how to create your own bunny costume from A Christmas Story.

Anyone can make an ordinary snowman but Doctor Who fans, like Phil Plait, can show off your skills and make a snow Dalek.

Guy Ritchie says "it's not a matter of fact" he's directing a film adaptation of DC Comics' Lobo.

Feel your jaw drop to discover Final Crisis isn't on the list of The 15 Worst Comics of the Decade.

If you're planning a trip to Walt Disney World this Christmas, you'll want to read about Time-Saving Tips for Holiday Visits to the Magic Kingdom Park.

Comic Book Movies noticed some details in the trailer for Iron Man 2 and has some spoilers about the film.

TOY STORY 3 CLIP

Coming Soon has a clip from Toy Story 3 hosted by director Lee Unkrich. Toy Story 3 arrives in theaters June 18, 2010.

CHRISTMAS TWEET, OH CHRISTMAS TWEET

Christmas is a rough time for everyone but no one has it harder than a Christmas tree. Just check out the Twitter for A Christmas Tree that formerly lived in a forest in Gary, Indiana and is now residing in "some prick's living room". Click for bigger.

Found here.

NOT SO SUPER

Fighting crime is an exciting life but at some point a superhero must go back to their secret identity and live life like the rest of us. Super Not So Super has a look at the ordinary lives of superheroes where even Batman is powerless against our poor economy.

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Sherlock Holmes is set to open Christmas Day but you can get an early look at some concept art for the film before then.

Share your love of Elvis, Abraham Lincoln, David Letterman or just about anything with a tattoo on your tooth. That's right, you can now tattoo your teeth.

"I don't know why they call it Hoth. They should call it Coldth." Now you can see what your weather is like compared to the Star Wars universe with the Star Wars Weather Forecast. I think they should have called it Star Wars Weather Forcecast but nobody asked me.

"Have at thee!" That's just one of the many cool catchphrases you can uttter with this replica of Thor's hammer officially licensed by Marvel. And you don't have to be a god to lift it since it's made out of plastic.

Josie and the Pussycats is set to come back to television again, this time as a reality show.

DON'T LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 1)

Maybe it's the Scrooge in me or just my natural cynicism but Christmas isn't one of my favorite holidays. The crowds, the overspending, the traffic, annoying commercials and traveling ruins any chance Christmas might have to be enjoyable. I know I'm not alone in this and so to share in my misery, I proudly present a new post, Don't Listen, where we hear some of the worst Christmas music ever.

SCOPITONES SATURDAY: "N'IMPORTE QUAND"

Consider this my Christmas gift to you, it's another Scopitone of Les Ballets Stefani.

JUST LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 4)

Not to get too political but "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Christmas at Ground Zero" is the perfect song for our troubled times this holiday season.

TALES FROM THE CRAPPER

Czar Ivan IV, the Terrible

Czar Ivan IV, the Terrible, emerged from a serious illness when he was twenty-three years old. He was given to bouts of random and spectacular brutality and to tearing clumps of his hair out until his scalp bled. He also specialized in ingenious deaths for his enemies; when the archbishop of Novgorod was suspected of organizing an uprising against him, Ivan had the entire population, about 50,000 people, massacred by tossing them into a freezing river. He then had the archbishop sewn into a bearskin and hunted to death by a pack of hounds. When he later conquered Withenstein he had the defeated Finish leader roasted live on a spit. He died, however, playing chess.





From The Giant Bathroom Reader

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Mark Millar reveals the name of his follow-up comic book series to Kick-Ass. I wonder if it'll take him another two years to complete it.

Check out the Dark Horse titles coming out in March, 2010, including the comic book adaptation of The Guild and this awesome cover for Creepy #3. Click for bigger.

Bryan Singer is set to direct X-Men: First Class. Thank God it's not another Superman movie. Thanks, Kyle!

Rene Russo joins the cast of Thor. She'll be playing Frigga, the mother of Marvel's mighty hero.

Kneel before Zod! Or at least open your billfold and buy this 12" figure of General Zod from Superman II.

JUST LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 3)

Merry Christmas... if that's okay.

NEW KICK-ASS POSTER

The latest poster for Kick-Ass premiered online, this one featuring Hit Girl.

ROY DISNEY DEAD AT 79

Roy Disney, the nephew of Walt Disney, died today. He was 79 years old.

The company announced that Disney died Wednesday in Newport Beach, Calif., after a yearlong bout with stomach cancer.

Company president and chief executive Bob Iger said Disney was much more than a valued 56-year company veteran.

"Roy's commitment to the art of animation was unparalleled and will always remain his personal legacy and one of his greatest contributions to Disney's past, present and future," Iger said in a statement.

Although he generally stayed out of the spotlight, Roy Disney didn't hesitate to lead a successful campaign in 1984 to oust Walt Disney's son-in-law after concluding he was leading the company in the wrong direction.

Nearly 20 years later, he launched another successful shareholders revolt, this time against Eisner, the man he'd helped bring in after the previous ouster.

Eisner and his wife issued a statement expressing their sympathies over Disney's death.

Don Hahn, an executive producer at the Disney movie studio, credited Roy Disney with ushering in a new era after taking over the animation department in 1984. Together, they helped make such blockbusters as "Beauty and the Beast" and "The Lion King."

"He took it under his wing, was a cheerleader, a coach, therapist," Hahn said.

John Lasseter, chief creative officer for Walt Disney and Pixar Animation Studios, also lauded Disney.

"He put his heart and soul into preserving Disney's legendary past, while helping to move the art of animation into the modern age by embracing new technology," Lasseter said.

Born in 1930, Roy Disney had practically grown up with the company. His uncle Walt Disney and his father, Roy O. Disney, had co-founded the Disney Brothers Cartoon Studio seven years before, later renaming it The Walt Disney Co.

While Walt was the company's creative genius, his brother was the one in charge of the company's finances.

Starting in the 1950s, the younger Roy Disney worked for years in the family business as an editor, screenwriter and producer. Two short films he worked on were nominated for Academy Awards: the 1959 "Mysteries of the Deep," which he wrote, was nominated as best live action short, and the 2003 film "Destino," which he co-produced, was nominated as best animated short.

Despite his heritage, Roy Disney never got the chance to lead the company. But as an investor who grew his Disney stock into a billion-dollar fortune, he had a huge impact on the company's destiny.

In 1984, dissatisfied with the leadership Walt's son-in-law Ron Miller was providing, Disney resigned from the company's board of directors and sought investors to back a bid to install new management. (Miller was the husband of Diane Disney Miller, Roy's cousin.)

His efforts resulted in the hiring of Eisner and Frank Wells, who led the company as a team until Wells died in 1994.

During that time, Disney rejoined the board and rose to become the company's vice chairman and chairman of its animation division. He also became a savvy investor over the years, forming Shamrock Holdings with his friend and fellow Disney board member Stanley Gold in 1978.

The fund grew to become a major investor in California real estate, the state of Israel and other entertainment and media companies.

Gold, president of Shamrock Holdings and a friend of Disney for 35 years, described him as steadfastly loyal to his principles and his friends.

"He was a gracious, humble gentleman," Gold said in a statement.

After years of dissatisfaction with Eisner's leadership and the company's lagging stock price, Disney and Gold resigned their board seats in 2003 and launched a shareholder revolt.

In his resignation letter, Disney called for Eisner's ouster, complaining that on his watch the company's standards had declined, particularly at theme parks like California's Disneyland and Florida's Walt Disney World.

Initially rebuffed, Disney rallied small investors and enthusiasts who responded to his folksy complaints about peeling paint at the theme parks and his anger at being told he would have to leave the board because he was too old.

Shareholders eventually delivered an unprecedented rebuke to Eisner, withholding 45 percent of votes cast for his re-election to the board. The chief executive was later stripped of his role as board chairman and announced his retirement in 2005, a year before his contract was up.

Disney initially opposed Iger, Eisner's successor, but they reconciled and in 2005 Iger named Disney a board member emeritus and welcomed him back to company events. Disney didn't attend board meetings and at the time of his death was no longer a significant shareholder.

Born in Los Angeles on Jan. 10, 1930, Roy Edward Disney was Roy and Edna Disney's only child. As an adult, he bought a castle in Ireland and indulged his passion for yacht racing, setting several speed records.

He was also an active philanthropist, supporting the California Institute of the Arts in Valencia, a school founded by his father and uncle.

"It's kind of hard to imagine us without him," said school president Steven D. Lavine, citing Disney's unflagging support.

In 1999, he matched a gift from The Walt Disney Co. to establish an experimental theater space as part of the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles. He named the theater for his parents.

In 2005, Disney pledged $10 million to establish the Roy and Patricia Disney Cancer Center at Providence St. Joseph Medical Center in Burbank.

source

COVER OF THE WEEK

Ms Marvel, #48, Marvel Comics

IRON MAN 2 TRAILER IS HERE

You may want to get a tissue handy. You're going to have a nerdgasm when you watch this.

Thanks, Kyle!

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

It's cold outside, time to cuddle up with a good book. i09 has the 20 Best Science Fiction Books of the Decade. Thanks, Robyn!

If you're a fan of Marvel's Cloak and Dagger, then prepare to drool over this beautiful Cloak and Dagger Polystone Comiquette.

Sure, the Spider-Man movies get worse and worse with each new movie but James Cameron's version of everbody's favorite wallcrawler would have been horrible. Don't believe me? Read an illustrated treatment of his script.

Marvel announces Girl Comics, a three-issue anthology miniseries in the spirit of Strange Tales beginning in March 2010, featuring comics created exclusively by women. It would be great if this series attracts more women to comic books. The industry desperately needs to expand their market.

Impress your prom date when you pull up in this Batmobile limo.

See the poster for writer/director Adam Green's upcoming film, Frozen.

NEW IRON MAN 2 PHOTOS

Images from Iron Man 2 continue to hit the web. This time Marvel unveils three new photos from the upcoming film. Nothing really exciting here, so I guess we'll have to settle for photos until the trailer debuts.

IRON MAN 2 TRAILER SNEAK PEEK

Entertainment Tonight has a quick glimpse of the Iron Man 2 trailer. The trailer is rumored to be attached to Sherlock Holmes which opens Christmas Day. Personally, I'm hoping it premieres online before that.

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Quentin Tarantino lists his 8 favorite movies of 2009.

Listen to the original voice of Darth Vader as performed by the man who played the part, David Prowse.

Starting in March, you can buy Marvel comic books for only a buck.

Elana of Charmed City Cakes made this delicious Millennium Falcon cake that can make a Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.

Burger King continues with their bizarre marketing, this time featuring a woman in a bikini singing in a shower to sell breakfast. This is supposed to make you hungry for a sausage biscuit instead of masturbating. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to jack-off to some pancakes.

EPIC MISNEY

There's been a lot of Disney/Marvel mash-ups since it was announced Disney is buying Marvel Comics but this print by artist John Waltrip is the best so far. Click for bigger.

JUST LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT. 2)

Let this be a lesson to all you carolers. Never set hot coffee near a klutz.

NEW KICK-ASS POSTER AND CLIP

A new poster for the upcoming movie Kick-Ass premiered online today along with a clip from the film. And what a clip it is. Watch for yourself.

PIN-UP OF THE WEEK

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Sigourney Weaver talks Ghostbusters 3 and says Bill Murray could be a ghost.

Every man wants to get in Kayla Kromer's bed. It's shaped like the Millennium Falcon!

I work at a comic book store but it pales in comparison to having a job at Pixar Studios. Top Cultured takes A Look Inside Pixar Studios.

Oy vey! Joyce and Kaufman created this out of this world Star Trek Pez LED menorah.

A second trailer for Clash of the Titans premiered online. This one is better but still has terrible music.

Matt Damon says he was originally tapped to play Two-Face in The Dark Knight.

Blinky Productions proves that Lois Lane is an idiot.

ARKHAM ASYLUM 2 TRAILER

The trailer for Arkham Asylum 2 premiered at the 2009 Spike Video Game Awards and is now online.

JUST LISTEN: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION (PT.1)

Welcome to a Special Christmas Edition of Just Listen. Today we take a look at Mystery Science Theater 3000 with their holiday classic, "A Patrick Swayze Christmas", inspired by the film, Road House.

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Natalie Portman will star in and produce the upcoming film adaption of the novel, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Frank Frazetta's son broke into his father's museum to steal 90 paintings.

They saved Hitler's brain! Well, they saved part of him anyway. The KGB destroyed Adolf Hitler's remains in 1970. Thanks, Stan!

Pee-wee Herman is on the verge of a major comeback. Meanwhile, check out the Official Website for Pee-wee's Playhouse and Pee-wee Herman.

Bryce Dallas Howard says she hasn't been contacted to play Gwen Stacy in the upcoming Spider-Man 4.

Put your balls away! Don't put those boring Christmas balls on your tree. Learn How To Make a Disney-Themed Christmas Tree and decorate your tree with a pirate or princesses theme.

TALES FROM THE CRAPPER

Rasputin

The sex-mad monk Rasputin (the name is Russian for "debauchee") was leader of a pseudo-religious cult called Khlysky, which carried out orgies of bloody self-mutilation followed by mass copulation. Rasputin is said to have bedded every female aristocrat in St Petersburg (including in all probability, the Czarina herself) more than once, even though he smelled like an open sewer. He didn't believe in bathing and often went for months without washing even his hands or face, offering the excuse that water sapped his libido. Rasputin's body odor was so bad that women literally bathed themselves in perfume before sleeping with him to try to overpower it.




From The Giant Bathroom Reader

HAVE YOURSELF A MUPPETS LITTLE CHRISTMAS

Enjoy this video of The Muppets performing "Ringing of the Bells".

DAVID LYNCH TALKS ABOUT RETURN OF THE JEDI

David Lynch was asked by George Lucas to direct Star Wars: Return of the Jedi but he had “next door to zero interest” in doing the film. He tells of the extreme security he endured just to meet with Lucas and that a headache began when he first laid eyes on a Wookie. But the most telling of all is when Lynch says, "[Lucas] doesn't really love directing". To which everyone says a collective, "Duuuh".

PUT A LITTLE PONTANI IN YOUR STOCKING

The beautiful and talented Angie Pontani from The World Famous Pontani Sisters has some incredible holiday gifts for you this season. With three $15.00 combo packages available for the burlesque lover on your list, your Christmas shopping just got a whole lot easier!

Pick up an Angie Pontani t-shirt and get a sexy photo of Angie decorating a Christmas tree!


Want to watch Angie in action? Then buy the Yule A-Go-Go DVD with a collectible Pontani Sisters poster!


Learn how to cut a rug just like the Pontani Sisters with their instructional Go-Go Robics II DVD. The package includes the Twist Party CD/DVD featuring Los Straitjackets!


Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like the gift of burlesque. Perfect for the man in your life or as a little present to yourself this Christmas.

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

"Weird Al" Yankovic joins The Pixies onstage for a little sing along of "I Bleed." Thanks, Robyn!

New details have emerged for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park.

Blimey! The Alien vs Predator video game is banned in Australia.

I now pronounce you Clark Kent and wife. Watch Superman save the day as Zod crashes a wedding and commands the reception party to kneel before him.

Sweet Tooth creator Jeff Lemire says, "Make mine Marvel!" as he begins his version of Man-Thing.

Speaking of Marvel, take a look at these Coolest Comic Book Inspired Christmas Ornaments. I'm happy to say I have most of these but I wish I had them all, especially the Emma Frost ornament.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 ON HULU

Christmas came early this year, folks! That's right, Santa delivered a big heapin' bag of laughs to your computer screen with Mystery Science Theater 3000 on Hulu. You can watch Joel, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot, Gypsy and the rest of the gang absolutely free!

God bless us everyone.

A NEW PEE-WEE HERMAN MOVIE?

Puh-lease God, let it be so!

MTV caught up with Paul Reubens promoting his new stage version of The Pee-wee Herman Show where he spilled the beans about a new movie.

“I’m going to make a movie based on my kids show, based on ‘Pee Wee’s Playhouse.’ It’s already done, the script is already fully written. It’s ready to shoot. It’s ready to shoot tomorrow. Oh wait, not tomorrow! I’m not available tomorrow. I had a conflict, forgot.”

Asked if the movie would feature Pee-wee going out into the real world, Pee-Wee said, “It’s not really the real world, it’s Puppetland. On ‘Pee Wee’s Playhouse,’ on the television series we never left the playhouse, we were always inside the playhouse. The movie is all out of the playhouse. There are two scenes in the playhouse, but the rest is out of the playhouse. But I can’t really tell anything about the movie at this time; it’s pretty much top-secret in Hollywood.”

Pee-wee's Big Adventure is one of my favorite movies and like every other Pee-wee fan, I've been waiting for years on another film. This needs to shoot soon. Pee-wee is 57 years old now. That's right, everybody's favorite nerd is 57 years old. Sadder words have never been written.

Please Hollywood, make this happen! Let this be my Christmas miracle.

NEW IRON MAN 2 POSTER

A new poster for Iron Man 2 premiered today, this one featuring Mickey Rourke as Whiplash. I love all the Tony Stark clippings in the background.

TRAILER CUT: VOLUME 1

Using 50 movies, Youtuber Vadoskincheg created this four-minute trailer of trailers.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THAT VOICE

I was watching The Dark Knight at work today with a friend and we were pointing out the plot holes in the film. It's nice to know we're not alone in this. Even Batman doesn't understand his own movie.

Meanwhile, here's the lyrics:

KID
Batman! Why is he running, Dad?

GORDON
Because we have to chase him.

KID
Why?

GORDON
Because he can take it. Because he's not a hero, he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector, the Dark Knight

KID
I don't get it.

GORDON
Neither do I son, but it sounds cool.

BATMAN
As I ride on my bike at the end of Dark Knight
There's a few plot points that just don't feel right

Like why the hell did I agree to take the rap
Harvey Dent killed those people. Who gives a crap?

And the Joker pulls crimes in such an orderly manner
He must write it down in an evil day planner

His henchmen are psycho and expendable
Yet somehow completely dependable

And why is Morgan Freeman all pissed at me?
He seemed to resign kind of randomly

Its OK to build me an armored tank-car
But ooh, tapping phones, that's going too far

Chorus
This movie of my life just doesn't hold together
At least is beats the crap out of Batman Forever

I enjoy car chases, explosions and suspense
Is it too much to ask that it all make sense?

ALFRED
No no Master Wayne, you don't understand
You can't kill a symbol, but you can kill a man

BATMAN
If I want to quit, then that's my choice

ALFRED
We're alone. You don't have to use that voice
And what about Ms. Dawes its like you just forgot her

BATMAN
In Batman Begins she was so much hotter

ALFRED
Joker, are you busy? Lets call a truce.
I need you to help explain the plot to... Batman

JOKER
Call me insane, but I consider us friends
I brought the DVD so we can watch it again

ALFRED
I'll make the popcorn and pour the sherry
Ooh, maybe we could watch it with the commentary

BATMAN
How does Harvey Dent do total 180?

ALFRED
Well, they barbequed his face and he lost his lady

BATMAN
When did you have time rig up both of those boats?

JOKER
Does talking that way ever damage your throat?

BATMAN
Well, at least they got rid of Joel Schumacher

JOKER
You know movie is really good, The Hurt Locker.

BATMAN
Oh, I heard that was good. Ive been meaning to see it.

ALFRED
Who's in it?

JOKER
Anthony Mackie

ALFRED
I don't know who that is.

JOKER
He was in Eight Mile.

ALFRED
Oh, he the guy who hosted the rap battles.

BATMAN
No that was Mekhi Phifer.

ALFRED
Joker you're getting white makeup all over the popcorn.

JOKER
Sorry, hey did I ever tell you how I got these scars?

BATMAN
YES! Several versions.

ALFRED
Maybe some other people would like to hear the story.

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

A poster along with a new photo for Tron Legacy are online.

The film adaptation of the comic book, Jonah Hex, is doing reshoots at the beginning of the new year. Check out the casting call for some of the new characters.

Steven Soderbergh is directing a documentary about the late Spalding Gray. Gray was an actor and writer who committed suicide in 2004.

A third sequel is planned for the Men in Black franchise with Josh Brolin possibly taking a lead role.

DC Comics continues to make poor decisions with a new mini-series, Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne, with hack Grant Morrison penning the book. Batman is a pirate. I kid you not. Seriously, check out this sketch of Batpirate or whatever the hell it's supposed to be and try not to fall out of your chair laughing. Say it with me, "Make mine Marvel!"

COVER OF THE WEEK

Black Widow: Deadly Origin, #2, Marvel Comics

COCO THE CLOWN DEAD AT 86

Michael Polakovs, better known as Coco the Clown, died over the weekend at a hospital in Kentucky.

McDonald's Corporation hired Polakovs in 1966, and he designed the outfit and makeup that is still worn by the character today. He appeared in the first eight TV commercials featuring Ronald McDonald.

Polakovs also performed in the Ringling Brother Barnum and Bailey Circus, and became the circus' advance clown, traveling the country.

He was a second generation circus clown, born in Latvia.

source

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

The perpetually cute Alyson Hannigan slams the upcoming Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot movie without Joss Whedon or any of the cast from the television series. "Yeah, and that's a very big mistake in my opinion. I mean if Joss isn't involved, it's only the title."

Ripley's Believe It or Not! boasts they "own the worlds largest collection of authentic vampire killing kits."

I know this is late but here's a Gallery of Sexy Comic-Con Cosplay Girls.

It's common knowledge Norman Rockwell used photos as a reference for his paintings but did you know he traced the photos onto the canvas?

Bid on an overnight VIP stay in the house featured in the movie, A Christmas Story. So far the current bid is at $4,050.00. Thanks, Stan.

BATMAN AND SUPERMAN ORIGINS AGAIN?

"I'm Batman. My parents died when I was a kid and now I fight crime, growl and brag about my detective skills. What do you mean you've already heard this story a million times? Wait! Where 'ya going? But I've got a new costume that looks exactly same as my other ones!"

Once again proving they can't tell a story, DC Comics is going to reboot Superman and Batman again. Really? Another round of origin stories? Wow, how completely dull and unoriginal. Here's the scoop from The Source:

That major publishing event we mentioned earlier today? Well, here it is.

Original stories featuring Batman and Superman in graphic novel form from the biggest creators out there. But these aren’t one-offs. We’re talking ongoing series of OGNs in a new continuity, on a new Earth.

Sound appealing?

Starting next year, DC Comics will unveil SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE and BATMAN: EARTH ONE, two graphic novels spotlighting the most powerful heroes of the DC Universe, with their first years and earliest moments retold in a standalone, original graphic novel format, on a new earth with an all-new continuity.

Return to Smallville and experience the journey of Earth’s greatest adopted son, as he grows from boy to Superman in SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE by J. Michael Straczynski and artist Shane Davis.

Watch from the darkest corners of Crime Alley as a young boy is struck by unbelievable tragedy that will forge the greatest crime-fighter to ever stalk the rooftops of Gotham City in BATMAN: EARTH ONE, by writer Geoff Johns and artist Gary Frank.

Zzzzzzzzzz... Oh, sorry, must have dozed off there.

My favorite part is how they call it a "major publishing event." Hilarious. And these multiple earths stories are the exact reason I don't read DC Comics and the definition of the word "sucks."

Sure, Marvel makes many mistakes but they continue to have some of the best stories in comics today and Civil War, love it or hate it, was the best idea to hit superhero comic books in many years.

Seriously, how can you not say, "Make mine Marvel!"

NERD NEWS ROUND-UP

Stan Lee confirms he has a cameo in the upcoming Thor movie.

Realm of Kings involves quantum energy and physics. Read all about it in The Science Behind Marvel Comics' New Cosmic Tale. Comic books make you smart. Thanks, Robyn.

Kick-Ass scribe Mark Millar wants to start another series he'll never finish. Or maybe he just wants to be sued by DC Comics for his upcoming series, Nemesis, the story of Batman acting like The Joker. Hey Millar, how about finishing Kick-Ass and War Heroes? Jackass.

Here's a list of Dark Horse titles on sale this week.

Major Spoilers has a beautiful drawing Jack Kirby did back in 1970 of Black Bolt.