STAR TREK: THE COLOGNE

Genki has a new line of fragrances based on Star Trek. That's right, Star Trek cologne. Tiberius is the new cologne in honor of James T. Kirk.

The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk’s challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality." According to Genki Wear, the perfume has sweet citron zest, black pepper, and cedar as its top notes (top notes refers to those scents that are noticeable first) and warm vanilla, white musk, and sandalwood as its base notes (scents perceived last, usually about a half hour after application). Genki Wear promises that "Tiberius Cologne for men is difficult to define and impossible to refuse" which is also a pretty good description of the Mirror Kirk himself.

But if you're feeling a little more dangerous, and by "dangerous" I mean "suicidal", spray on Red Shirt cologne. We all know anyone wearing a red uniform shirt on the USS Enterprise wouldn't be around long. They were quickly killed on some bizarre planet, while Kirk ran off to plant his "Captain's Log" in the alien women.

Genki’s "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.

I imagine Red Shirt would smell like fear along with fecal matter, because I know I'd poop my pants if I saw some hideous alien getting ready to eat me.