Friday, November 6, 2009

TALES FROM THE CRAPPER

Vlad the Imapler


Although the historical "Count Dracula" Vlad Tepes had an unparalleled appetite for sadism he was considered a hero in his country. Tepes, who ruled over Walachia (now part of Romania) between 1456 and 1476, had about 20,000 of his enemies impaled on wooden stakes, and enjoyed drinking the blood of his victims. In his spare time he forced wives to eat the roasted bodies of their husbands, and parents to eat the flesh of their own children. He was also a brilliant general and was adored by his fellow countrymen because he defeated their sworn enemies, the Turks. When a large troop of Tartars strayed into his territory, he selected three of them, had them fried, then forced the others to eat them. When Turkish envoys arrived at his palace to sue for peace, he had their hats and coats nailed to their bodies.



From The Giant Bathroom Reader

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